Things to ponder...

I am going to do something a little different today instead of my thankful list.

A couple of days ago my sister, Michelle, told me of a story of a woman in Queen Creek. This is a true story. Michelle has a friend who car pools the drop off and pick up of her kids with another woman. One day after school this friend got a phone call from her daughter, who was still at school. The friend's mom never came to get them after school. She headed out and picked them up and dropped off the girl (whose mom was supposed to have picked them up). That girl went in to find her mother dead. It was determined that the mom had put the 18 month old baby down for a nap and had laid down herself - she never woke up. At the time of Michelle telling me about this the cause of death was still unknown. I assume it is known now, but I have never asked.

I then started comparing myself to the mom who passed away. I have a baby that is almost 18 months; Occasionally I lay down for a nap; I car pool a lot; etc.

This has caused me to ponder a lot about my own life in great detail.

Questions that I have been asking myself constantly since hearing this story...

- Does my family know that I love them?
- Do they know that I love them unconditionally?
- Am I constantly acting and behaving in a way that my family feels that love?
- If I am upset with my family and passed away how would that make them feel throughout the rest of their lives?
- Have I taught my kids the things they need to know in this life?
- Have I taught them that they are children of a loving Father in Heaven?
- Have I taught them that they can do anything they want to in this life - they are endowed with seeds of greatness?
- Do I really believe that for myself?
- Do I teach them by example?
- Do I share my testimony with them?
- Am I the kind of person I want to be?
- If were to die today would I be anxious and excited or nervous, fearful, and ashamed to see my Savior?
- What kind of friend am I?
- How do I treat others? Do I show unconditional love to everyone around me?
- Do I treat them in a way that they feel the Savior's love through me?
- Do my friends know that I love them?
- Have I made a difference in this world? Or is my world filled with unfulfilled good intentions?
- Am I a happy and positive person?
- Do I spread sunshine and cheer or doom and gloom?
- Do I help others want to be better? And do I set the example by bettering myself first?
- Am I humble and do I show that humility or am I proud?
- How do I want to be remembered when I do pass away?


In many of the answers I am doing OK, but I also see how much more I need to improve in areas. I need to set a better example in life for my family and my friends. For the most part, yes I am a happy and positive person and with that I believe I spread sunshine and cheer. I work hard to treat others the way the Savior would. However, I still have much room for improvement. Yes, I know my family knows I love them - but oh, I need to do a much better job of always showing them that love. I need to be more patient and loving towards them in every situation. I openly admit I am not yet the person I want to be. I do work every day to be better, more positive, a better person than I was the day before.

I have had several people ask me about how I can stay positive through the craziness and hustle of my life. My answer is simple. Every day I am alive, it is a good day. Some days are definitely more of a struggle than others - my life is in no way remotely close to perfect. However, I know who I am and I know that if I continue on in life striving to reach the goals that I have set for myself and my family that every single day can be that much better than the day before. As the days continue to go by, life continues to get better and better. I work hard to keep the perspective that the trials I face day in and day out are a small notch in this life and even more so in the eternities. For example, the posting of my CRAZY WEEKEND the entire time I kept telling myself, "If this is the worse thing that happens to me today, it is still a good day!" Yes, there were constant changes to plans and repairs that cost money I may not have had at the moment, but no one was injured, there were no accidents. My family was safe and we were watched over.

I know I have been tremendously blessed in my life. Sometimes it does take hearing about a mom that has passed away to stop me dead in my tracks to think about where I am going. Is it in the heading I was planning on going or am I off course? For me it is stories and experiences such as this that cause me to ponder and reflect on my own life to make sure that yes, I am on the right course - maybe slower than I expected, but that is alright as long as I keep putting one foot in front of the other and move forward rather than backwards or somewhere not on my intended path. I am grateful for the small course corrections that I can take as I continue on in the journey of life!!!