Random thoughts in my head

I have had so many random thoughts and feeling going on through my head that I just decided that maybe if I put them all down they would leave my brain and maybe they won't continue to drive me crazy....

I feel like I am always behind, never getting caught up. Mostly it started back in September when Josh and I went to Chicago. After that it was trip, after trip, after trip, after trip until the beginning of December. Then once I got back it was the holidays and full swing into the Roadshow. I started Physical Therapy three times a week in January(with travel it is an extra 2 1/2 hours per day on those three days - not to mention). Now it is tax time.... I am working hard to get our taxes done. These big projects take up so much time, but because I don't want to let my family suffer the other small things go unattended. I don't necessarily feel overwhelmed, just behind. Now I have individuals trying hard to get me to join the PTA board. As much as I know they will desperately need the help this next school year, I ask myself, "Is that something I really want to take on?" No, not really.

I crave sweets. That is a huge downfall to my waistline. I have a friend who hates chocolate. How can anyone hate chocolate? I truly wish I had that problem. It would change a lot of what I eat in my life.

My friends bless my life every single day. As a sounding board I have my sister. I depend on our conversations and appreciate the time she takes out to have our almost daily chats. Alisha & Trisha help me in so many ways, from just being a friend to constantly helping with my kids. As many people know I have many responsibilities/obligations. These two women offer their time to help me either with my projects or with my children. I know their own lives are busy with many things as well, but they show me time and time again their love and friendship. Then there is Becky. She says she needs Trish time and I say I need Becky time. Sometimes that time is spent with our families, other times with just our spouses, and this past Saturday it was just the two of us shopping! What fun that was. It let me escape my reality and just be out and away from everything that I am behind on. Hannah is another one. She has become an adoptive grandmother to my family. She is always asking when we need help and basically tells us to go out so she can watch the kids. I will tell her of something that happened and she will question - "Why didn't you call on Grandma to come help?" I love and very much respect this woman! There are several others that I have been getting to know more and more. I hope that one day I can have better relationships with them. I know several of them need a friend and help just as much as I do.

Even with my friends that I have, I don't feel like I fit in in my ward at church. I know there are probably many others who feel the same way, but for different reasons. Most of our ward is young, fairly newly married with one, maybe two small children. Surprisingly I am one of the older women, my kids are in school and various activities so I don't get to go to many of the things the other girls are doing. Being in Primary and not having a chance to develop any relationships through Relief Society adds to the misplacement that I feel. I think that is why Trisha, Alisha and I all became fast friends. We are all about the same age, mostly having kids the same age, etc. Trisha and I serve together in primary and have girls in the same class at school and dance. Alisha and I met before we both moved in to our respective houses and only live a street apart. We also have girls the same age, separated by only 6 days. We were visiting teaching companions for a long while so we developed a strong bond of friendship. Other than that is I just don't feel like I fit into any group.

My kids are hilarious. They spend several minutes at the dinner table each night trying to get in the most "fantastic" compliments they can about the meal. For example, "Mom, this food is fantastic." Then the next starts, "Mommy, this food is 1 thousand fantastics". Then another, "Mom, this food is a Million, 4 thousand, ten fantastics." Then it goes on and on up to gazillion and other made up numbers. I just start laughing and eventually have to end it so they will eat. Silly Kids!!!

I love my hair. My sister in law Jennifer (Chapman) is my stylist. She does an amazing job. Every time I go in she teaches me something new. I am grateful to have her taking care of that need! Someone I love and trust!

Even though I don't like the time commitment in the middle of the day, physical therapy, in a small way, is filling my need to exercise. I wish I could be running again, but that is out of the picture again for right now. My doctor and therapist both actually told me I am not a good candidate for long distance running. But, I enjoy it so much. I would also love to do my Turbo Jam again - that is my real passion for exercise, but that bothers my knees so much more than running ever did. For now it is PT three times a week! It is going alright. The constant ache and pain in my knees has subsided, but the sharp pain that comes with weight on bended knees is still so real that it will stop me dead in my tracks. I only have two about a week left of PT so I am curious to see what the next step will be.

Facebook is addicting. I sometimes wonder if it is better to reconnect and redevelop relationships with people I have lost contact with and let them know I still care or if I should be doing some of my "behind" stuff. Does anyone have an opinion about that? I can't seem to decide for myself. Right now, Facebook keeps winning out!